Anna-Christina, Olivia and I were sitting on the couch watching a cartoon on Saturday morning. All of a sudden, I practically saw the lightbulb above ACâs head, and her eyes lit up as she said, âI have a GREAT idea that Olivia and I are going to do all by ourselves today â without you!!! It will be SO much fun. But I canât tell you what it isâ. Okay, so I didnât say much and thought she had come up with a new game that they would spend an hour or so playing. Well, soon she couldnât hold it in any longer and told me that she had a dream that she walked all the way to Red Lake to see Papa and Grandma, and thatâs what she wants to do today.
O.K. Sheâs joked about this before, and knows that itâs impossible. Sheâs made comments about flying there alone, etc and itâs always a big joke. But there was a different look in her eyes this time. She had it all laid out in her mindâs eye. She said they had to get big pink suits to go there, because thatâs what Grandma was wearing in her dream. I asked her what kind of suits, âBathing suits? Space suits? Suits and ties?â But she didnât know. All she knew is that she would somehow find a way to get them, because she knew thatâs what Grandma was wearing. (I doubt my mom ever has or will own a pink suit of any kind)
For the next few minutes, I laughed and joked about it and played along. But when I laughed, she started to get very upset and I could see the hurt in her eyes, as if I didnât believe in her. It was SO REAL in her mind, because her dream was so real. Now I didnât know what to do. I didnât want to crush it right off the bat, but I didnât want to play along for so long that I would soon get in trouble for letting my 5 year old walk down the street by herself, on her way to Grandmaâs. I was really hoping Daryl would come home from work soon so he could reason with her. Oh believe me, I mentioned bears and wolves in the woods and hunger and lack of shelter, but she didnât seem to think any of that would be a problem. So I told her she should call Grandma and make sure itâs okay if she comes. (I was at my witâs end) Well of course Gâma tried to talk her out of it too, mentioning the fact that thereâs no bathrooms in the bush and what if she gets tired of walking and what if she gets cold. But again, she had an answer for everything, and even though it seemed like a silly answer to us (âIâll just wear tights and socks and long johns and pants and ski pants, then I wonât be coldâ), it was very practical thinking to her. So finally Grandma gave up too and told her to call before she left so sheâd know what time to expect her. Anna-Christina hung up the phone and started packing. She opened the refrigerator to see what she could take along to eat on the way, and I would say things like, âNo, mango will get squished in your back packâ. Oh, and by the way, I think I can let her pack her own clothes next time we travel. She thought of everything (brush, underwear, bathing suit â just in case, pyjamas, etc.)!
She was getting more ready to walk out the door and trying to convince Olivia to come along. At first Olivia started packing too, and I sneaked into her room and whispered in her ear that her sister wasnât really going, she was just pretending. Olivia just said with a smile, âOh.â And put her pjâs back her drawer.
Well, soon it was almost time to leave. I sat her down and finally came up with something to stop her from walking down the street. I told her that if the police saw a 5 year old girl walking down the street, they would pick her up and bring her home. Her response was, âWell, then Iâll just try againâ. I then told her that they would always bring her back, and that if they knew that her mom let her walk around by herself, they would probably take her away from her mom and not let us live together. That got her attention and she thought for awhile. Then she got big tears in her eyes, and said, âBut I really wanted to walk there and I know I could do itâ. I tried to hug her and console her and then the tears flowed! She was truly disappointed and upset. I think in light of her oh-so-very-real dream, she really believed she could do it. But the whole time she was doing this, it was almost as if she was thinking outside of herself, like just living her dream. Deep down inside, I know sheâs smart enough to know she couldnât or wouldnât do it. Sheâs bright and she knows she could never walk that far. Later in the day, she finally had the courage to talk to Papa and Grandma on the phone and explain that she wasnât coming. (By that point, I think she had come to grips with the fact that it wouldnât work.)
The only explanation I have is that her dream was so vivid, she believed it could be done. And I think I know how she feels. Sometimes you wake up and youâre sure your dream really happened. Who knows, maybe sheâll invent something really great someday, or accomplish a great feat, all because of a dream.